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Three Year Anniversary

I have been eagerly anticipating this day since the beginning of October. Today is the day, three years ago, that my husband came home from his first deployment! Six long months apart…ended on a Saturday around 7:00pm. This day is special for another reason as well. It also marks roughly halfway through this Korean deployment! homecoming

This deployment started out not too bad, to be honest..I missed him, of course, but I was working full-time with a great group of kids and coworkers and thankfully nothing really “bad” happened. My shower head did spontaneously break in the middle of a shower, and because it’s a handheld one with a long hose it sprayed all over the bathroom…the shower curtain did nothing to stop it, it zipped right past it to share its water with the whole room. But that was more funny than horrifying.

Then it got tougher. I don’t know what it was, maybe just the “You got this, girl!” attitude wearing off as the increasing nights alone got to be less about relaxing and being the only controller of Netflix and more…well…..lonely. Or the starting again of counseling that really was mentally and emotionally tough (making me wish my husband was home even more). Or perhaps the starting of the school year and 90% of our kids going back to their real school, and also a week into the new year, three of the four coworkers I have worked with since the beginning have left. The split schedule isn’t very pleasant either, I have to be at work at 6:30 in the morning for an hour and a half, and then back again at 3pm until 6:30 at night. Some days I have class in between those hours. It was probably a combination of all those things that made the first couple of months easier than the past couple of months. But this day helps me remember that all deployments will end, we will have our amazing third “first kiss” and third “honeymoon” phase soon enough!

But now, finally, we are to the halfway point. I thought I would be bouncing off the walls, eating sugar out of the bag, really energetic and excited…but my first thought when I woke up today was an exasperated, “God, FINALLY!” It felt like I had been pulling a sled up a hill that was getting steeper and steeper, and finally reached the top, exhausted, but feeling accomplished. Now, hopefully, the rest of this deployment will fly by like I’m zooming down that hill on my sled!

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In response to The Daily Post’s weekly photo challenge: “On the Way.”

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In-between moments can be just as memorable as grand finales. This week, share a photo you took on the way to something else.

My husband and I were on our way to Ramstein in Germany, and we got off at the wrong train station. It was beautiful though, one of the most gorgeous small towns we had come across. We had to wait an hour and a half until the next train arrived that was going to our destination, and we had a wonderful time…we wouldn’t have minded if it took longer! I have kind of an obsession with flowing water, and while it was hard to pick only one photo from our brief stop, I really love this one.

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Video call snapshot 32

I apologize for the blurry photo. But I think it says a lot about our interesting marriage. On our amazing Skype date last night, my silly spouse drew a face on his finger and insisted on only communicating with me through the finger.

I, in turn, communicated with mainly my slipper-socked foot.

It was a great night.

I really miss that goofball!

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One Year

Sometimes I want to ask myself why my posts are so boooooooooorrrrrring! I just go to type out my day and it’s all “blah”. At least to me. I’m much harder on myself than anyone else. No one else writes boring blog posts, just me. Stop it, self!

So. Nutshell.

Today was a big day. It’s been exactly four weeks since my husband left for South Korea, and I am so proud of myself for the way I’ve been handling it. I have NOT binged on ice cream or sat in front of the TV crying my eyes out as I re-watch our favorite movies like Tangled and Frozen (no judging allowed). July 13th will be a month down! Eight more to go!

It’s also been exactly one year since we left Germany! It’s so weird to think of everything that’s happened since. The year has flown by, and I hope it continues to do so. I’ve never wanted Christmas to come so badly in my life, and I’ve been a little kid with a wishlist a mile long before, so that’s saying a lot. 😉 I’m not sure why I’m set on Christmas, I just feel like the last three months will fly by…and the holidays always seem to go by quickly as well.

Yesterday I learned something new…that I never knew in all my years of living in the south. Car windows can EXPLODE. Yes, I know they’re not airtight, but apparently they still can. Yesterday after lunch I took my husband’s car to work because I didn’t want to get gas in mine, and when I came home, the rear windshield was spider webbed all over, with significant cracks along the sides. I was really scared someone had done it on purpose, but was hoping it was an accident (our trash pick up is Friday, so I thought maybe something flew off the truck and hit my car). When the military police showed up to check it out, they said it was blown out from the inside…they had seen this happen four or five times, the heat and pressure build up in the car until a window explodes. Just my luck, I learn something new the hard way. But still, I was just relived it was an accident and not an ax murderer trying to mess with my mind!

We also had a dog wander into our club yesterday. That was pretty amusing. I was put on “dog duty” since everyone knows I love dogs, which pretty much just meant I kept the dog from following the kids around as they tried to play football. A little boy tried to go inside, and I followed to make sure he was able to get inside and shut the door without the dog following, but we failed. That boy was so sweet though and felt so bad…he’s a tiny little thing, and the dog just pushed him aside like he was a pile of hay and sauntered inside. Half of the kids (and staff) were laughing, the other half were shocked, and everyone started trying to get the dog outside…except one person, who asked if it was MY dog and without waiting for my answer, told me to take it outside because it’s not allowed in (obviously…). I was a little miffed about that, but we managed to get the dog outside and all was well. It made for a good story though!

Today was a bit less fun and a bit more stressful. I’m normally pretty okay but it’s days like this that really make me wish my husband was home. I followed my new doctor’s recommendation and started counseling again, and today was my second session (I was able to find an awesome counseling practice that had evening and Saturday appointments…very much appreciated since I work full-time 8am to 5pm (or 9am to 6pm, depending on the week) in the summer!) So, I know therapy is very helpful and useful, but I also know that it can suck sometimes and bring up painful emotions and memories from the past, and my therapist is very good at her job so we talked and brought up some of those painful things. The words “neglect”, “ptsd”, and “disassociation” were used. So now I am feeling emotional and having second thoughts about not letting myself binge on junk food…(a.k.a. wish I had some in the house)…so I am doing the next best thing, binge watching shows I’ve seen before but love on Netflix, while my adorable dogs nap beside me.

So……happy one year being back in the states! I feel I should do something patriotic, like riding a bald eagle…or perhaps something simpler, like going to Wal-Mart at midnight in my pajamas. ‘Murica!

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A Win For America

I love the new banner across the top of WordPress!

It was wonderful, happy news to wake up to this morning…love has won! 🙂 As a straight ally, I’m beyond thrilled!

In other news, we had a water balloon fight at work today. I was soaking wet because what was suppose to be Team A against Team B turned into Team A’s kids against staff members.

It was a good day in (almost) every way!

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So much has changed…for the better!

I have been seriously neglecting this blog. I am so sorry! I check it almost every day to see what lovely posts others have shared, but quite honestly I’ve just been too busy or too tired to update myself.

That’s both good and bad, I suppose. Just 6 or so weeks ago I was dying to have something to do…I really had nothing going on in my life, no job, classes hadn’t started yet, and I was just really bored and feeling very frustrated and unfulfilled.

I would like to go back in time and slap myself.

Actually, not really. A half slap? Now I am so busy that I pray for some down time to…..just….do nothing…..everything….clean my house? Play with my dogs? Luna has taken up pooping on our rug again, so thanks for that, little miss. I’ve washed those darn rugs so many times I just threw them out. I’ll replace them eventually…they’re just bathroom rugs after all. I’m worried if I replace them now, she’ll still continue to act out and piss all over them…..literally.

I went back to school, something I was SO excited to do, something I was dying to do since I haven’t been able to go to school for three years. I’m really glad I went before, because if this was my first time in college, I’d probably have given up by now. Two of my professors are great, but extremely tough. One of them is beyond extremely tough (I feel like an idiot in his class) and most of my classmates and I agree he just doesn’t really care. He talks down to us if we ask questions, and in lab, he tells us what to do and then leaves the room for an hour or so. Most of the time we get through a few steps and then are confused, standing around asking each other what to do. When he comes back and we ask, he just tells us to look in our book.

There are other minor annoyances, like having to pay $80 to have access to a website to do our homework, and buying our own test sheets. Over all I’m just not impressed with this school and would really love to go back to my old one in Florida. But, unless I want to live away from my husband for a few years, that’s not an option. And I don’t want to do that, so stay at my current college I must.

But I was able to get a part-time job that I love and I’m very happy there. I’m working for the Boys and Girls Club, we run an after-school program for a nearby middle school and the kids can come to the “club” and hang out, we have activities to do and snacks to eat and we (usually) have a great time. In just three weeks of working there I’ve realized I really love working with this age group (11-13) and I’d like to be a middle school nurse. It’s a wonderful feeling to mentor kids and having them come to you with any type of problem they may have and feeling so happy when they tell you that you’ve helped them or seeing them take your advice.

I’ve also gotten more girly because one day, our boss decided to paint some of the girl’s nails and one of them wanted to do my nails (I’ve only ever painted my nails once, for my little brother’s high school graduation) and I realized I really liked my nails painted pink so I went browsing the local Wal-Mart for nail polish and found a glittery blue “Ice Queen” one….and yes, okay, it reminded me of Frozen and I wanted it. And now it’s on my nails and I keep admiring them and their prettiness and thinking maybe I should do this more often.

But definitely the hardest part in the past few weeks is my husband being away in training. THIS SUCKS. He left nearly three weeks ago and we have about two or three more weeks to go. We have no idea when exactly he’ll return. At first he was told he would be back in exactly 29 days, because if he is gone 30 days, the army has to pay us $250 for family separation pay, and they don’t want to do that. They would rather bring him back ONE DAY before that has to be paid. But they wanted to bring him and a few other soldiers out there early, so he will definitely be there over 30 days because the next flight out of the dessert they are training in is March 14th, but sadly that doesn’t mean he’ll be home that day.

I was fine at first, I missed him terribly, but I had work, school, and dogs to focus on and keep me busy. But then they took his phone away…….they said it’s because they didn’t want anyone to cheat and use their GPS when they were doing land navigation exercises, but my husband said they’re not doing those so they have no idea why their phones were taken away. So no communication except for a few minutes on Facebook now and then (thankfully he works with the internet so we can at least talk that way). We haven’t gone no-tech since basic in January 2011 so this part of the training is really difficult. I just want to hear his voice. They are taking lots of pictures of the guys training out there, which is awesome, but my husband is never in any of them. I comb every picture for a flash of his goofy grin or bright hair or silly faces he loves to make, but I never see one. Sigh. But hey, we’re only almost halfway done, so there’s more time to get his picture taken.

I guess on the plus side, I get to drive his car? So I get to pick between two cars, yay! His car likes to go fast….I like fast. I take the highway to work and the speed limit is 75mph and by the time my car gets up to 75 it’s time to exit and do 40 which makes me sad. Bumblebee’s car gets up to 75 before we’re even off the death ramp (as we have affectionately nicknamed entrance ramps here in Texas). And I don’t wake up in the middle of the night freezing because he’s a bed hog. Compromises all around because I’m still not use to being alone and I have a bad habit of pushing our dresser against the door (despite living in a very safe area), but hey, at least I can stretch out in the bed! ….after I move a dog or two out of my way.

So, really, a lot going on, but at the same time, nothing terribly exciting.

Oh! I got braces exactly one month and one day ago. If I don’t get this posted in the next 12 minutes, it will be one month and TWO days. I hated them at first……still kind of hate them I guess. They hurt and I talked funny for a few weeks (something some of my friends pointed out and picked on me for and made me even more self-conscious about them)…and I couldn’t eat much of anything and I LOVE to eat so I would pine away, looking at all the uneaten orange chicken on my plate and wondering if I would ever eat again (I was only slightly dramatic, I swear).

But, AGAIN, I lost about five pounds so now I’ve only got about twenty more to go!

My orthodontist has massage chairs in the lobby so that’s pretty nice. I wouldn’t mind if they kept me waiting for a few hours at my next appointment, because I’m in no rush to get these darn things tightened and go through the whole not-eating phase again. And I like massages.

Maybe I’ll lose another five pounds, though…..hmm….I could be down to my goal weight after four appointments. Or I could work out more. But hey, let’s not make any hasty decisions here.

My nails are REALLY sparkly……….